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Home » My french Lock Down. An Italian Love Song from my Teenage against Corona Nightmare.

My french Lock Down. An Italian Love Song from my Teenage against Corona Nightmare.

Tonight my nerves are broken. It was my first lock down day. Yesterday I spent half a day in supermarkets. My pc was broken too. Before Corona I was getting positive and had this plan for the future. I wanted my book to spread word to mouth and find a way to self finance my self and go back to Italy. Today, I dunno, I feel like I will move to Italy as soon as I can. No matter what.

My family lives near Rimini, they are three at home locked down. My dad is 81 and still fantastic.

Except when he gets nervous, but I dunno how in tough times he can give his best. He overcame a cancer to throat, chemio and radio thérapies, he lost all his teeth, he spent almost a year without going out from home; in small villages like my hometown, in Adria Coast, men use to reunite in bars to play cards, tell stories, read newspapers and Watch soccer matches on television.

It’s a sad time.

This song was a song that my first fiancé used to sing to me when he put me to sleep. We were just 16, btw I am turning 46 this Week.

His voice was very similar. Today he is married with two children, and still my family’s neighbour.

We spent three years and a half together. He reminded of my father so much, perhaps it was one of reasons that we split.

Well, I was too Young. And indipendent. I still thought I could wait and get enough time for having kids. I Don’t regret that. I wouldn’t have been a good mother. I was too hysterical to care for babies. I honestly think I would have thrown them in the bin. Or put in a wash machine.

I hate thinking that every Morning from now on I will wake up with fear to catch this virus or the fact that I have to self certificate my walks in the woods. In the same time, I know that my life until now was almost locked down ….. after 2015 Paris terror attacks I have been shocked and I can count three or four times my visits to the Capital, except my training classes for work. Public transportations are claustrophobic, and I can’t cope with it. I hate taking métros. I need sedative.

Oh, I imagine you were expecting hope words from my post, tonight.

Nope, tonight I have a love song, if you Don’t mind. And some teenage souvenirs which I will keep tight in my mind before I go to sleep.

Bonne nuit tout le monde.

Take care xx

Antonella Barberini

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